is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
