I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
