you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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