Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
