she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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