I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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