I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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