I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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