I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
and she was petting her beer can
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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