Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
