Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
