TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
