Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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