I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
