Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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