Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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