Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize