Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
