I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
