Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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