You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
