Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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