I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
