I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
