you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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