i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
