i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
operation harelip BJ is a go
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
