She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
