haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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