please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The uberlube is also flammable
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Randomize
