yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
