Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
