Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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