I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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