So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
