Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
