There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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