i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
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Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
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It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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