I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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