we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
that is very illegal...i love you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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