How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
