Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
His nipple licking is glorious
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