evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
