why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
