ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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