she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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