We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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