i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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