Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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