i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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