What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
