Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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