i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She bit a glass in half.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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