Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
