So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
