Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
