Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize