It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
