guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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