You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just cropdusted the office
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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