I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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