I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
