those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
