I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize