a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
