well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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