i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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