Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have aggressive nipples.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
