I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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